Paying attention

I had to attend a "work" function last evening that included hors d'eorvers and dinner.
I intentionally skipped the appetizers so tht I would eat a good dinner.
Problem: the dinner was lousy! I'm a plain eater: no spices, I hate pepper, I like good ole' american fare.
The dinner choices should all have been good, but there were soooooooooo many weird ingredients in the meat and chicken, that I went back to the appetizer table and ate those instead.Not a good choice. The appetizers probably had more calories and fat than the dinner combined.
I figured i might get a decent dessert taste out of all this, but no.\Dessert was a concoction called: mango and coconut mousse topped with a gooseberry.
What the hell is a gooseberry? when it came tot the table it looked like a tomatillo! And the whole thing was wrapped in fudge, so I couldn't have eaten it anyway!
Bad night out indeed.
Next time I will research the dinner options with more care and plan accordingly - like eat dinner before I go!!

The End?

So, it's my 50th birthday today. The goal was to lose 50 pounds by now.
I lost 17.
I still have 33 to go until the end of the year.
I guess 33 isn't as daunting feeling as 50 was, but it still has been a struggle.
Every ounce is a struggle. I've been going to the gym 4-5 times per week for the past month. I've followed the weight loss plan - most days - as closely or as perfectly as I could.\
I read an article a while back that claimed every body has a set point where it's happy being at that weight.
My body must feel glorious! because it likes this weight I am now REALLY A LOT!!
So, I will keep plugging along, trying to lose ounces. I am no longer thinking in pounds because that just seems too difficult for my body to actualize. Ounces seems more realistic.
A few things have fallen from this journey, tho, that are good. I am definitely eating BETTER and HEALTHIER foods. I have returned to the gym so I am now getting set exercise. I feel I have a better grasp of what my body needs in terms of nutrients, and what it doesn't : white flour, sugar, fried foods, preservative laden foods. My hair and nails look great because of all the protein I now get.
So all in all it has been a DIFFICULT journey but one that will continue. I will check in periodically, esp when I get new food info to pass along. Please keep following my progress because I really do do better when I have eyes watching me.
Happy Birthday to me!!

OBESE

So I have the bloodwork of a ten year old, but am still classified as OBESE.
I can't catch a break for loosing!

Wellness checkup

So I went for my 20/20 wellness checkup today.
Weight was 5 pounds more than my scale at home; waist circumference was at least an inch more than I measure.
They had my bp at 120/80 when it routinely runs 90/60.
Lets hope my bloodwork turns out correctly!
I swear, if I am classified as OBESE again this year I am going to spit. Far and heavily!
I will have my blood work results by tomorrow, everything else in a week or two, so I'le tyou know the classification.\
God, this is humiliating. I wish they could use my measurements and my scale for their values. Its so much more friendly to me.
Anyway, once the values are in I have to fill out this HUGE questionnaire and when that's done, I get to receive my $ 75.00 "present." I can use it towards membership in health gym or to get new sneakers at the local shoe empoirum.
haven't decided which I'll do yet.
Pray for me!!

The Mall

So, I went shopping yesterday for the first time in a long time just for me.
I figured since I started this journey, I might as well see if the clothing dept. had anything new in a SMALLER size for me nowadays.
The most shocking thng to me, other than the poor quality of what passes for fashion these days, is that my feet GREW a half size! I went from a ridiculously large 8.5 up to a 9!
WTF!
DIsregarding the lousy clothes for a minute, WTF!
I have HUNDREDS of pairs of shoes in an 8.5. What am I supposed to do with them now? It's one thing to discard clothing that doesn't fit, BUT SHOES!
I LOVE MY SHOES! That;s always been my go-to item for making me feel better. It's an old fashioned cliche, but truw: fat girls loves makeup and accesoories: bags, SHOES! etc. Because you are never too fat not to wear makeup or have fab accessories.
Call me Imelda anytime! I LOVE MY SHOES!
IS there a weight loss program aimed at feet?

Somethings I really didn't know

1. Diabetes TRIPLES a woman's odds of developing heart disease.
2. Women with diabetes are more likely to die from heart disease than diabetic men are.
3. WOmen with diabetes are at a higher risk because of high blood pressure, lower HDL ( the good cholesterol), and more abdominal fat.
Was there ever a better reason to lose weight, do sit ups and get in shape??
Let's see: I'm a woman, almost 50, with a lot of belly fat.
Granted, I don't have diabetes.
Yet.
And I am doing my damnedest NOT to develop it.
Sits up: there a good thing.

MORE news

This must be the month for magazines to publish blood values,.
MORE magazine's May 2010 issue has an article titles HOW TO LIVE HEALTHY LONGER.
IT not only lists more blood values you should have checked ( ie If Your waist circumference is over 35 it is danger sign for women) and stats ( 1600 is th enumber of calories that the average woman should eat per day to maintain a healthy weight), but it also lists strategies to curb bad behavior, like eating magnesium rich foods to combat memory loss and the ancillary vitamins you need just to maintain your health.
It's worth reading.
The line that stood out to me the most is the following:
"80% of heart attacks in women are attributed to unhealthy habits - filling up on fat laden food, carrying around excess weight, being a couch potato and smoking."
The way I interpret this statement is that 80% of women could prevent heart attac ks from happening if they, a: stop eating crap; b: got up off their butts and exercised, and c: STOP SMOKING.
80%.
That's 4 in 5 women who have had heart attacks- they could have been prevented just by changing a few simple things.
WOmen can rule the world with information like this. Pass it on to every woman you know and encourage them to read the article.
More to come. ( get it?! MORE to come?!)

Clicking

Okay, so I got on the stairmaster at the gym and lo and behold: I clicked.
Every single time my legs went in the rotation, clickclickclick!
Lucikly, I was the only person in the workout room at the time, so I was saved from embarrassement, because the clicking was LOUD.
Tornado-sounding loud!
I figured out that my body does not like that go-around motion, kind of like the rotation your legs make when they ride a bike, only this is stationary on the stairmaster machine. SO then I tried the climbing machine, which looks like a small staircase that keeps revolving up and down so that you have to continuously climb stair.
Guess wht?
Yup!
CLICKCLICKCLICK.
I'm telling you ,machinery hates me!
Oh well, I'll stick with the treadmill for now.
I only pant on that from being out of breath. No clicking.

Exercise

SO I got discharged from physical therapy yesterday because I've been doing great with the exercises they gave me, and I've been back tot he gym 10 out of 12 days. Both go hand in hand in helping me with my hip pain and my ability to be mobile again.
So all this exercise SHOULD start to show soon, wouldn't you think??
My clothes feels the same. I can't really tell if they LOOK the same, but they don't feel tight and that'sa very good thing.
After work this morning I'm off to the gym again to do my regular routine: treadmill for 30 and then all the strength machines.
I am planning on trying the stairmaster for the first time in a great long while.
The last time I wa son it my hips were clicking so badly with each rotation that the lady next to me thought the machine was broken!
No, Honey. That's the sound my hips make when they are forced to do something they would rather not do.
So wish me luck with that.
I'll let you know if I still make noise!!

Enough about the gym!

The title says it all.

There's a great article in this month's REAL SIMPLE magazine called "Numbers to Live by."

It details all the blood values and ranges that are important for you to feel and be healthy.

For instance, a normal healthy blood sugar (glucose ) fasting would be 99 mg/dl. The range used to be anywhere between 80 and 120, but now a standard 99 is perfect. Your total cholesterol should be below 200.

A healthy Body Mass index should be between 18.5 and 24.9, Anything higher is considered obese.

Ugh!

To view all the values, reference the current Real Simple Magazine.

As a woman who is almost 50 the standard recommendations are to get your blood values checked yearly. Comparing the values between years will help target any problem areas that can be dealt with quickly and completely. A yearly mammogram is recommended as well.

Now I go for my yearly values on May 4. Last year I was told I was obese ( based on BMI) at my Wellness check. This year I better not be told that or I will literally bust a gut!!

I'll let you know.

More about the GYM

So I'm going again today after work.
This week I went monday, tuesday, wednesday, took thursday off, then last night and again today.
Now the questions I ask myself are : is this helping? Do I feel leaner? Do I look smaller? Do I feel like I have more energy?
1. Do I feel leaner: no
2. DO I look smaller: I don't think so
3. DO I feel likeI have more energy? NO, I'm EXHAUSTED!!
SO, is this going to the gym helping me in any way??
Probably, I just can't see/feel it yet.
So I will keep going and let you know what happens.
Pray for me and my joints!!

The GYM

Most of you know I hate going to a gym. I do it, but I hate it.
Not because I hate to exercise, which my better half believes.
But the GYM itself is what I find upsettling.
Many sweating men.
Many sweating, smelly men.
Many overweight smelly, sweaty men who think they are Brad Pitt!
This just plain repulses me to see.
Then there are the diva girls. The ones who wear skin tight second skins to exercise in, their toned butts non-jiggling away on the treadmills and stairsteppers, who are in full makeup, hair and perfume.
The perfumes are almost as bad as the sweaty man smells.
ALmost, but not quite.
And I can never watch what I want to watch on the tv. IF I didn't get to it first, the first person to turn the channel will lay claim to the remote, watching stupid shows on the Food Channel.
Really? In a gym when you're trying to LOSE weight? You want to watch a baking tourment?
I much prefer exercising in the privacy of my home. My television channels are my own to choose; since I don't sweat, I don't stink, so the smells are lovely'; and I don't have to get dolled up in skin tight clothing that enhances my bulgies.
Of course it's a lot easier NOT to exercise at home too. I can always find an excuse to put it off: the laundry needs to be done; the litter box changed'; the porch dusted.
So going to the gym is a much better option if I really do want to exercise.
I just hate the GYM so much!

The value of exercise

So I went back to the gym.

I know: I can't believe it either.

Being away this weekend and using the gym in the hotel really pushed me to go back. I haven't been in the gym since last fall. I hurt my back and it just got too easy not to go back once I felt better. The gym at the hotel was chock full of the machines I like in a gym, so I felt good using them and that endorphin rush continued once I got back home. So I went last night after work and then again this morning.

I'll admit, I'm a little sore in places I haven't been sore in in a while, but it feels like a good sore; a worthwhile sore; a beneficial sore.

I also just found out I am a finalist in the Robert Ferguson 8 week weight loss challenge that ended last Tuesday!! Now God knows, I will not win anything, but I am thrilled to even be considered. After I got the email I had to write a 500 word essay on how the challenge helped me.

That was super easy.

So say a quick prayer for me the something comes from this.

And even if it doesn't, I am still plugging along and doing everything I am supposed to.

Vacationing and Eating

It's very difficult, I have found, to stick to a regime of good eating when you are away from your comfort zone - namely your house!
While in Boston this past weekend, I did great for breakfast and my first snack. But lunch and dinner were another story.
Although I didn't go hog wild and eat everything not nailed down, I did breaka few Ferguson rules.
1. I didn't eat every 2-3 hrs and because of this, when 3pm came around I was absolutely starving - something I'm not supposed to be because when I am starving, my insulin levels go all wacky. So, we were in a bar in boston waiting to take a brewery tour and I wanted a bowl of soup. They were out of the soup of the day so I had chicken tenders.
Fried chicken tenders.
Poor choice, but everything on the menu was fried. So my decision to eat something - antyhing at that point - was somewhat valid.
For dinner we went to PF Chiangs, a super chinese food restaurant,
Yup. Chinese food.
Most of that cuisine if wok fried.
It may be in a wok, but baby, it's still fried in the end!
I had cashew and almond chicken. Lots of veges - even tho they were coated in sauce, and some - I assume - wok fried chicekn pieces.
No the best choice I know. I could have had something vegetarian, but hey - I hadn't been out for a while and wanted something good.
No dessert - which was a good thing and then we walked back to the hotel whichw as baout a mile and chang,e so I didn't feel too bad.
I realize that I can't bring all my food for an entire trip every time I go somewhere, so I really need to start making much better choices.
next trip to boston I'm having something really healthy.
Like LOBSTER!!

Vacationing and exercizing

I'm in Boston this weekend for a quickie vacation and I went down to the fitness center in the hotel this am, hoping to get a good workout in before we start seeing the sights today and visiting with family. The place was packed.

I was able to get a treadmill next to the HUMONGOUS woman who was running on her own treadmill. She was there before me, I walked for 30 minutes, and she was still running when I left.

I'm not kidding when I say this chick topped out at about 300. She was sweating, panting, and the fat was jumping up and down, but DAMN! She could go.

I was so jealous, I can't even begin to tell you.

Got me thinking: even if someone is VERY overweight or even morbidly obese, can they still be physically FIT? I started talking to the lady - because you all know I'll talk to anyone anytime anyplace - and said, "I'm impressed! I wish I could run like you but I have bad knees."

She smiled and said she run on the treadmill 5 days a week for up to an hour and a half.

Now remember, she was HUGE! I wanted to ask her how long she'd been doing it but she beat me to the punch. She said she's been doing this for over six months and feels great. Her cholesterol level has gone down as has her blood pressure.

I congratulated her and asked if she had lost any weight, because remember: she was HUGE!

She smiled and said no, because she still eats all her favorite foods, just exercises.

I thought this sounded really crazy, because the basic laws of physics would tell you that if she is moving soooooooo much, even with eating, she should have lost weight.

Was she selling me a line of bull? I don't know, but she certainly had it on me in the endurance department!

So, I'm plugging along, getting some exercise when I can, and continuing to eat well.

Even on vacation!

All or nothing

One of my beautiful sisters-in-law says of diets "I'm either all in or nothing."
She means that if she starts a diet, she is totally committed to that diet or she won't do it.
It's really not a bad philosophy when you think about it.
When I started the Ferguson plan in january I was TOTALLY and COMPLETELY commited. I did everything I was told to do, ate what I was commanded to eat and exercised as instructed. Somewhere along week eight I started to get tired of it all.
I still TRIED to eat my 3 foodloversfatplates daily along with my two snacks. I drank more than the detailed amounts of liquids. But my motivation somehow waned and I couldn't get back on total track.
I think I realize now why.
Even though I was commited, it wasn't exactly for the long haul.
All in or nothing.
I didn't get that straight in my head. I guess I thought the 50 pounds would melt off the minute I started eating correctly.
Wrong.
I guess I thought a few months of behavior modificiation would last a lifetime.
Wrong.
I guess I wasn't all in or nothing.
Correct.
Tonight starts another Ferguson 8 week challenge on his website. I am registered and I am committed.
Totally.
Long haul commited.
I still have a significant amount of weight that needs to go bye-bye.
Like everything else in life, you need to practice to make something perfect.
My weightloss is not perfect yet.
But I am all in or nothing.

Post holiday thoughts

Easter has come and gone and I survived unscathed diet-wise. Since I don't have little ones in the house anymore, I have no need to buy Easter baskets laden with chocolate goodies. That's a plus for me.

Dinner was healthy and not overbearing.

SO my thoughts now are turning to post-Easter things, like now that the weather is warming - yes, even here in the northland! - Layers will be coming off pretty soon, and in some areas, already are. I've seen kids around town already sporting shorts and flip-flops.

I haven't bought shorts in years and am a littler terrified of doing so.

And forget a bathing suit. I haven't had one in over ten years at least.

Just the thought that I have to go to the store and TRY them on is enough to give me agita.

I am going to do it this year,tho. I think I have to. For too long, way too long, I have hidden behind voluminous, caftan-y like tops, and stretch pants have been a fashion staple in my wardrobe. These are my comfort clothes. Just like we all have comfort foods, I have comfort clothes. Those looks that make me look older and rounder than I really am just so that my fat rolls are hidden.

I finally realize this: who am I kidding? Those fat rolls are not hidden, they are shown off to all their lousy glory by the clothing choices I make.

I would absolutely love to be on WHAT NOT TO WEAR because I know they would have a field day with me. The learning curve for me is GREAT here. I need to learn how to dress NOT to make me look fatter, but to show off my assets ( If I have any!) and to hide my junk. Which I have a lot of!

If anyone knows the producers of that show - send them my name and this blog!!

I can use help.

Any and all the help I can muster.

Another Holiday

Easter is tomorrow and as a Catholic I should be fasting.
As a Robert Ferguson follower, I can't.
I didn't want to anyway. Fasting makes me hungrier, and grouchy, and just plain miserable.
I still find it hard to beleive for DECADES I starved myself, fasting a great deal and still never lost any weight.
I really wish SOMEONE had told me years ago that you need food to keep you going; that depriving your body was really not going to do anything good for your weight, and that the moment you put anything into your mouth after fasting/starving, you were going to gain it all back in a heartbeat.
It sure would have saved me decades of agony and angst.
So, even though I consider myself a good Catholic, I will not be fasting this Easter season ( which BTW is over tomorrow!) I will be eating well and healthily.
Veggies, proteins, and good carbs.
Happy, Healthy Easter.

Something that makes you go "hmmmm??!"

On Kirstie Alley's show last week she asked her daughter, "Do you only eat when you're hungry?" TO which her lovely daughter replied, "yes." Kirstie gave her a quizzical look and said, "what a concept!"
That's exactly the way I feel!
I DO eat when I'm not hungry. I eat because I "want" something. I'm bored. I'm lonely. I want junk.
I'm everything but hungry!
What a concept. To eat ONLY when you feel hunger. I don't think I've done that in, well, 50 years. I've been thinking about this ebcause I ate lunch an hour ago and I just "want "something sweet, like chocolate, about now. I'm antsy about it too. I have a snak for my appropriate snak time in another hour, but I just want something NOW!
What to do? I could go for a walk, but that would take my mind off of it for about a half a minute. I could eat something, give in to the craving, but that would defeat the purpose of trying to lose weight and would make me depressed that I once again "Failed" to control myself.
I wish there was a pill or a shot or SOMETHING that woudl take away cravings and thoughts of eating.
I would love to live in a world where for just one day I didn't even think about eating something. I would go through the entire day and only think about food when I was hungry.
What a world; nirvana.
All this talk about not eating is making me hungry.

Choices

Most of you know that I don't drink alcohol. This is a personal choice based on events that unfolded in my childhood.

Enough said about that.

Tonight on the Robert Ferguson teleconference he made the point that putting certain foods in your mouth ( body) is a choice. To whit - you KNOW you shouldn't eat that 6 pack of Twinkies, but you do because you have made the choice to. A conscious, personal, free choice.

Having made that choice you need to live with the consequences - again to whit- excess weight caused by the fat and crap in the Twinkies!

I never ever thought about it that way - that eating to excess, or eating something BAD for you -is a personal choice.

You DON'T have to eat it. It isn't calling your name, or forcing you to pick it up. You have made the free choice to eat it and must live with the effect of that choice.

Let's look at it this way: you NEED to eat to survive. That's a fact. If you don't eat, eventually you will die.

But you don't NEED to overeat to survive. You need a certain base of calories each day to keep you walking around on the planet. Anything extra that isn't burnt off will store and we all know it stores as fat.

So if you eat the correct amount of calories your body needs to just walk around daily, you will maintain your weight. IF you eat less, you will lose. If you eat more, you will gain.

That's kind of simple math, isn't it!

So, if I MAKE the choice NOT to eat something I don't NEED, I can control my weight.

So starting here and now I make the choice NOT to overeat. I make the CHOICE not to eat junkfood.

I make the choice to lose the excess I don't need.

Choice. It's a good thing.